The Life of the Party

I'm not quite sure if anyone outside our family will want to read any further. We all know how inside jokes can be.  Somebody's on the outside looking in; it's rather sad, actually.  I want to document for posterity, and to use against my second son someday, some of his quips and conversations.  I am afraid many will ring flat or humorless to those outside our household realm.  For this I apologize, but if you read further, you've been warned.  Anders = 9-year-old Life of the Party, Anthony = 15-year-old Rooster, Laney = 7 year-old-little sis, Autie = 17 year-old-sister, Ella = 19 year-old sister, Phylicia = 21-year-old sister

Anders:  Dad, could we go snowmobiling with our friends?

Dad:  “Our friends”? (fishing for Anders to explain who he was thinking of going with)

(pause)

Anders, exasperated with hand motions of disbelief:  Okay.  I have never met a guy who doesn’t know his own friends.

After a play/drama at Sight and Sound theatre:

Anders:  Why did Adam & Eve wear robes at Sight & Sound?

Autie:  Did you want them to run around naked?

Anders:  It would be authentic!

Anders:  And then I would die a happy death and go to heaven.

Laney:  And I would get all your computer time.

Anders: (gasping) You know....I think....with the right medication, I might live to see another day....

Anders:  Anthony blasts in, raids, and leaves.

Anders:  A plaid shirt with a skirt… never seen THAT before.

Anders:  Success or not a success?  My future is an illusion.

Anders:  Dad is a Grinch-monkey.

Anders:  Tony’s name is Lampy because he’s a jackass.  (From Pinocchio)

Anders:  Behold!  May I earn anything?  (Asking for a job that might earn dollars)

Anders:  Does Jesus ride on the back of the Holy Spirit?

Anders:  Well, just forget about what I said.

Anders:  I’ve got unearthly news....

(Mom and Dad are delayed in Aruba airport)

Anders: I knew it! Shot down by flak over Cuba!

Laney: (reading "Ferdinand") "As the years went by Ferdinand grew and grew until he..."
Anders: Burst!!

Anders: (to dad, referring to school) I've been in bondage two hours!!

Anders: You know, if the door popped open and the strata bounced out, I would faint with happiness!

(The 'strata' is a casserole I make each holiday; we were on our way with it to a potluck)

Anders: I don’t want to be President. They all get shot.

Dad: No they don’t! Only 4 out of 45 presidents have been assassinated. That’s only 10%.

Anders. Well I’d be the fifth.

Anders: I can’t believe I have to do my garbages on a Sunday. It’s not an ox!

(having heard about the ox that fell in the hole, and how the Lord won't judge the guy getting his ox out of the hole on a Sunday - maybe a few too many times??)

Anders: Dad, you’re the best thing in the world. Besides Momma.

Tony:  I knew you’d waste your popcorn.  You gave it to Laney.

Anders:  It’s not a waste, it’s a pass-over.  Then all of us can share the joy of popcorn from this time forth and evermore.  

Autie: Anders, now it’s the 4^th of July! What will you do?

Anders: Oh. No. Now I REALLY can’t move anything on my headboard! It’s been there for TWO 4^th of Julys!  (Ever seen the movie UP?  Mr. Fredrickson likes everything in his house JUST SO.  That's our boy Anders, too.)

Anders: (to Laney trying to sleep in Mom’s room)

Go to sleep

Little creep

Or a wolfman will get you

Or a fox or a bear or anything that will eat you!!

Anders: There’s nothing wrong with National Treasure.

Autumn: Right.

Anders: I like the skeletons. They’re cute. In fact, I talk to them.

As I said, many of these are probably just silly; but to us they are a smattering of the quips that keep us chuckling, sometimes choking it back so as not to encourage him in his silliness.  Anders' little sister Laney has some quips I want to share, to remember them.  She has been packaged away in the big girls' part of the house, and has a vocabulary quite a bit ahead of her head knowledge.  That makes for some fun conversations. I'll say it again - what a blessing these people are.